Getting all meta-ish

[joolz]

I’ve been getting all contemplative about writing lately. Like about how my word count for the last couple of months is, oh, zero, and how I feel about that. I’m actually thinking about giving up on fanfic.

 

For one thing, my new life in NYC is so busy and consuming, in a good way, that I don’t have the energy. But that’s a good thing, right? I seem to remember that when I started writing fanfic about 5 years ago, it coincided with a downturn in happiness. I think the writing helped me work some stuff out in a safe manner, rather than becoming destructive in RL, especially considering my predilection for angst and violence in fanfic (along with some nice sex and cuddles, too!). Life being too full and happy to write fanfic isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Also, I might follow the lead of our friend Don Eppes, who upon realizing that he would never be anything but a mediocre baseball player quit his minor league team and signed on with the FBI, at which he excelled. I know that I’m a minor league fanfic writer. I don’t totally suck, but I’m not first string and never will be. Maybe I should try to find out what it is I’m really good at.

That being said, I just signed up for the

eppescest challenge fic fest, and am thinking about signing up for undermistletoe , too. Unfortunately, the ideas for stories haven’t died out as much as the motivation to actually write them has! Maybe with a commitment and a deadline I can get something written, and see if it still feels as good as it used to.

 

In a total tangent, I just got back from a nice chamber music concert. I couldn’t help noticing how erotic I found it to watch those four men playing music together. I’m not a musician but it seemed to take so much trust in and respect for each other- it felt very intimate. And the way they listen to and watch each other as they create this beautiful music. How could they do that and not have a deep connection? I know the connection doesn’t have to be sexual, but that’s where my mind goes. ;)

Of course I’m sitting there enjoying the concert, thinking about how to work that into an SGA fic. (I wish Rodney played the violin, but I could work with the piano…) Ug! It might be too late to give up on fanfic, it’s hard wired into the brain. Or it would at least take some serious discipline.

Comments

[joolz01.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm an oldster, too. Getting kind of a late start in the Big Apple, but better late than never!

It's a form of escapism for me -- a healthy outlet, as long as it is kept in moderation.

I've thought it would be a good con topic: WHY do we write what we do. Though that could easily go the way of TMI. LOL

And "seeking succor in the squee", that's great!